Dear Meghan Markle:
Let me start out by saying that you’re more than alright by me, ma’am.
Long have I admired your grace in the face of a British gutter press, an online community determined to bully you to death, and a sister-in-law who makes Scarlett O’Hara look down-to-earth in comparison.
I feel Prince Harry has made a wise choice in marrying you, and I feel Archie couldn’t have asked for a better mother than you. I encourage you not to listen to the haters who can’t get over their fantasy of being married into the house of Windsor, and I can’t say “you go, girl!” enough.
But all that said, let’s have a chat about your bestie, Jessica Mulroney.
So a few days ago, Jessica Mulroney got her proverbial tuchas handed to her in the form of a Black Canadian blogger named Sasha Exeter. Comparing her to Amy Cooper (a/k/a Central Park Karen) at one point, Exeter painted quite the ugly picture of Mulroney, depicting her as an out-of-touch, performative princess.
Naturally, Meghan Markle, your name came up in Mulroney’s response. If you hear her tell it, she personally walked side-by-side with you as a freedom fighter of sorts — a one-woman Dora Milaje — as you publicly and privately endured the bigoted indignities of the British royal family and its accompanying pomp and circumstance.
Basically, Duchess Meghan, Mulroney was saying she couldn’t be antiblack because she has a Black friend — that Black friend, of course, being you.
Hoo boy. So much to unpack here. And none of it is good.
Then, this morning, it was announced that ABC — who had employed your best friend as an occasional fashion contributor on its morning show, “Good Morning America” — was cutting ties with her on account of the Sasha Exeter snafu.
As Jessica Mulroney said last night, she is stepping away from her professional engagements and that includes Good Morning America. She will no longer appear on our show.
CTV also canceled her wedding show, and she lost her endorsement with Hudson Bay.
And of course, because she’s your best friend, the phrase “Meghan Markle” gets thrown in the mix — as if you, personally, are her press agent — because far too many people believe in the old adage, “show me your friends, and I’ll tell you who you are.”
You would think that this would make your “bestie” chill out. After all, she has to know, at the end of the day, that the only reason we know her name is because of yours.
But no — old girl doubled down. Instead of taking a chill pill and a glass of wine, or donating to a worthy cause (maybe a bail fund?), Mulroney publicly apologized to Exeter, then privately messaged her and not only threatened her with a “liable” lawsuit (Jesus be a fence…), but threatened her again by saying “you think your voice matters.”
Now, Meghan Markle, I’m normally loath to issue a call to action against a minor celebrity such as your BFF, simply because doing so sometimes gives the minor celebrity a bigger delusion of grandeur.
And I’m not doing that here, either. I don’t need to bury Jessica Mulroney — she’s doing a great job of burying herself.
But in light of the fact that Mulroney says “Meghan Markle” more times than the Pope says “Amen,” might I humbly suggest that you come and gather her together? Your name is neither currency nor to be used as an excuse for bad behavior. You’ve got enough of your own problems without this foolish woman giving you more headaches than you need.
And, Meghan Markle, I’m also going to humbly suggest that you get new friends. Fast.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.
Last modified: June 14, 2020 6:54 PM UTC