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Amazon PlayStation 5 Reviews Hit Early – And They’re What You Expected

Last Updated September 23, 2020 2:04 PM
Thomas Bardwell
Last Updated September 23, 2020 2:04 PM
  • Fans have taken to the Amazon UK PS5 listing to concoct bogus reviews.
  • From time travelers to descriptions of a disturbing future of sentient consoles, we can’t fault fans for their creativity.
  • PS5 listing are popping up on Amazon portals across the globe suggesting pre-orders will go live soon.

Yesterday’s rumors of an imminent PS5 price and release date reveal may have been a flop, but the various newly-minted Amazon listings popping up provide some consolation.

PS5 fans have descended on the review section of the Amazon UK PS5 listing , and, unsurprisingly, the results are pure gold. From time travelers to jests about the machine’s design, we can’t fault gamers for their ability to keep themselves entertained in a news drought.

We can’t fault PS5 fans for keeping themselves entertained. | Source: PlayStation

A certain time-traveling Mr Bean recounts a bad experience buying a second-hand PS5:

Purchased this on the 5th of July 2035, scratched to hell, they should have stuck to the ps4 black or ps6 lime green. Also, the games in 4k look so dated on a 100k AR screen.

The timeless console vs. PC tussle reared its head as well:

Super rubbish and a complete rip off, my £3000 PC is much better and can run Quake 2 at 7240 fps, once I buy the £800 next gen graphics card it will be 5% faster! PC master race etc..

Xbox, PlayStation
The console war is still alive and kicking heading into the new generation. | Source: Shutterstock.com

And, the console wars too:

Ordered in 2027 so bad, Xbox Series X outsold by miles, and was quicker. PS5 some dead thing.

Hey I’m from the year 2030 and am here to tell you that the Xbox series’s S is batter and this console flopped

And, of course, a few overt references to the PS5’s uncanny resembles to a Wi-Fi router popped up, with a dead dog and a DIY guide to making your own PS5 thrown in for good measure:

This wifi router does not work. It keeps on asking me to insert disc….. it didn’t come with the installation disc…. I’m awfully confused…. i suggest buying a router with better reviews

3/5 stars. Took a WiFi signal but didn’t send one, bit useless as a WiFi router really. Very big too. For this price you might as well get a different, better router that doesn’t have such useless additions such as RTX and 120fps. It’s not like I’m playing games on this thing!

Pretty decent console, fast and isn’t noisy. I did manage to get it confused with my BT router which was a surprise but also a relief as i was wondering why i couldn’t install call of duty war zone. I did also have to remove a shelf to make way for the console to stand up right and as a result my dogs urn had to be moved. But on the bright side i think it makes a nice edition to the kitchen table. If the price tag puts you off you can always just sellotape two A4 sheets of paper to your existing ps4 and I’m sure it will still provide the high quality, low maintenance characteristic trait as the PS5.

One reviewer alluded to a disturbing future of sentient PS5 consoles wiping out their forebearers:

I violently attacked my PS3 killing it in the process don’t buy rip ps3 (2006-2020) you will be missed.

Just came back from the future. The PS39 was the last Sony PlayStation console after world leaders banished all computers because they couldn’t trust them any more. Playing board games now with my Mentat is no fun, He always wins.

Another reminds us that advances in technology sadly won’t weed out some of the more undesirable facets of modern gaming:

Now I get to hear 12-year-olds call me a massive bell-end with 3D sound on Call Of Duty.

Now, back to waiting for Sony to drop the price and release date.