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The Meghan Markle Disney Reviews Are In – And Boy, Does She Suck

Last Updated March 4, 2021 2:41 PM
Aubrey Hansen
Last Updated March 4, 2021 2:41 PM
  • Meghan Markle landed a voice-over gig with Disney following a pitch by her husband, Prince Harry.
  • Meghan’s fans saw this as her arrival on the “A-list” stage, and believe that it’ll lead to bigger and better things.
  • Critical reception to her performance hasn’t been positive at all, though. Maybe the reviews are racist?

This is an exciting week for fans of Meghan Markle.

Not only will she and her husband, Prince Harry, finally break loose from those nasty royal chains that have burdened them for so long, but Meghan will “arrive” as a real star.

Her debut as a voice-over actress for Disney+ is just the beginning, right? This highly talented, inspirational role model to women the world over will become a superstar.

Obviously, she won this Disney+ gig entirely on her own merit. Sure, Prince Harry pitched her to then-Disney CEO Bob Iger, but he was sharing an “in” joke, right?  Meghan was already lined up for the position.

That whacky Bob, playing along for laughs, pretending he didn’t know Meghan Markle did voice-over work when he replied with surprise at what Harry told him.

Yeah. Good times.

Meghan’s first step into the limelight looks more like a stumble

I hope Meghan Markle fans have enjoyed the past year or so. Because the honeymoon period is wrapping up.

No more royal family to blame. The nasty, horrible, racist British press is no longer a factor. Even the Sussex Squad’s favorite hate figure, Kate Middleton, can’t be a target of criticism now.

It’s time for Meghan Markle and Prince Harry to stand on their own. Just as they always wanted.

Meghan’s gig with Disney+ is their first step. But early reports suggest it looks more like a stumble.

The reviews are in. Meghan Markle sucks.

Reviews from both sides of the pond have delivered a consistent message. The cinematography is amazing. Meghan’s work is average at best.  In reality, she isn’t very good.

Empire’s Ian Freer commented:

Markle’s delivery of the commentary is wholesome and over-eager to please. She just about stays the right side of annoying.

And that’s one of the more positive reviews. Freer awards the film three stars.

Ed Potton of The Times awards the movie two stars – and isn’t quite so charitable  as Ian Freer:

Meghan is swapping pomp and circumstance for schmaltz and cheesiness. The departing Duchess of Sussex narrates Disney’s tale of a herd of elephants crossing the Kalahari Desert from the Okavango delta to the Zambezi River, and boy does she lay it on thick.

Meghan is no David Attenborough, that’s for sure

meghan markle disney documentary
Marrying a prince doesn’t make you a better actress. | Source: ComposedPix/Shutterstock.com

Look, I know that no one comes close to David Attenborough. But I’m willing to bet that some of the deluded Sussex Squad reckon Meghan Markle could top the legendary natural historian.

Don’t believe me?

Source: Twitter 

So, what next for the “American Princess?”

If her rabid fanbase is to be believed, the world is Meghan’s oyster.

The problem that said fanbase seems hellbent on ignoring is that having connections and marrying a prince can only get you so far.

Source: Twitter 

Sure, her Instagram profile will always be prominent. There are lots of ways she can exploit her husband’s status for financial gain. There are more than enough chumps who’ll buy into whatever she’s selling.

But when you’re standing in front of a camera, none of that counts for anything. You’re either good enough to get the job done at the elite level in Hollywood, or you’re not.

Marrying a prince doesn’t make you a better actress.

Meghan Markle is still the same mediocre talent she was before she met Harry. That won’t change.

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.