There’s an old saying, “elephants never forget.” Our giant friends have an excellent memory that’s key to their survival. One thing they won’t soon forget is Disney’s decision to let rookie Meghan Markle ruin their documentary.
The new Disney+ documentary “Elephant” came out today, narrated by Meghan Markle. If you were excited about this program, you might want to watch it on mute.
If you’ve ever wanted to hear a sorority girl tell you about nature, then you’ve found the right documentary. Meghan Markle sounds like she was just at brunch with the gals when someone handed her a script and pushed record. Her sing-songy delivery grates on the ears within the first few minutes.
It’s like Meghan discovered two voice tones that she feels comfortable with: a playful high-pitch and a serious low-pitch, and she swings back and forth between them for the entire movie. I’m not sure who has sat through this whole documentary, but they’re probably taking up valuable hospital space trying to recover.
Her timing is shaky, and sometimes it sounds like she’s joined the rest of us in completely losing interest in her voice. The reviews aren’t great either.
If you didn’t know it was her, you wouldn’t tag the playful narration as coming from anyone of note.
Markle doesn’t have the gravitas you’d expect from a narrator for a Disneynature film.
Empire’s Ian Freer says:
Markle’s delivery of the commentary is wholesome and over-eager to please. She just about stays the right side of annoying.
Ed Potton from The Times reports that Meghan “lays the cheese on thick,” noting:
Even the underwhelming moment in which the elephants rip some bark off a tree is presented like the announcement of the winner for best picture…To anyone raised on [David] Attenborough’s urbane authority… it all feels a little bit shallow.”
Disney could’ve hired someone like Morgan Freeman, who could narrate paint drying and still keep us interested. They could’ve asked David Attenborough, a lifelong nature lover with speaks with passion and conviction. But no, they hired Meghan Markle, a city girl who chased royalty and now chases Hollywood fame.
Surely, she wouldn’t have landed this gig without Prince Harry’s connections. After all, Meghan Markle booked this gig not long after cameras caught Harry whispering something into the ear of then-Disney CEO Bob Iger.
This is privilege at its finest. An unqualified B-celebrity marries a rich guy and suddenly lands a huge gig. The saddest part is that reports hint that Prince Harry isn’t nearly as interested in Hollywood life as Meghan.
While I’ll certainly forget about this documentary as soon as I publish this review, the elephants, sadly, will not.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.
This article was edited by Aaron Weaver.
Last modified: April 6, 2020 5:43 AM UTC