ShapeShift.io Doubles Down With Winklecoin

Journalist:
P. H. Madore @bitillionaire
April 1, 2015

CCN received the following press release this morning from ShapeShift.io:

SWITZERLAND, April 1, 2015 – ShapeShift.io has integrated Winklecoin (WNK), into its instant exchange platform. Customers anywhere in the world can now buy or sell WNK instantly with Bitcoin or over two dozen other leading cryptocurrencies with ShapeShift.io.

Winklecoin, masterminded by Olympic rowers and internet entrepreneurs Cameron and Tyler Winklevoss, is now available for exchange in increments of two.

“We were very excited to integrate Winklecoin because I appreciate the innovation of only being able to purchase or transfer the coin in multiples of two,” said ShapeShift CEO and Founder Erik Voorhees, “This feature doubles the market price of every Winklecoin because economics.”

Winklecoin quickly reached 7.1 million WNK volume within the first month of release, far surpassing rival coin Zuckerbucks (ZKB), causing the ZKB failure and removal from all available exchanges. WNK utilizes a mining process powered by international rowing teams, using an innovative “proof of crew” system.

“Winklecoin encapsulates the tall, handsome essence of the Winklevii brothers themselves,” swooned ShapeShift Director of Marketing, Emily. “In my personal opinion, Bitcoin doesn’t stand a chance against it. I take all my salary now in Winklecoin.”

Interested websites can now also utilize the ShapeShift API to instantly accept payment in WNK, whereupon it will be instantly converted to Bitcoin, or any other digital asset in which they prefer to hold value.

Developed with cryptocurrency world-domination in mind, Winklecoin (WKN) has become the preferred altcoin for various social media networks, the International Olympic Committee, US Rowing Club and the Harvard University Book and Gift Store. To learn more about Winklecoin, visit winklecoin.org.

Half A Bitcoin!

Altcoin traders were likely ecstatic to see the coin trading at a full .5BTC per Winklecoin. A bit astonished, CCN visited the official website of Winklecoin, and found that it went directly to ShapeShift.io. Thus, we decided to contact this Emily character and received the following robotic response:

While the trades appear to be real, the coin most certainly isn’t. For instance, there is no downloadable wallet, it trades on no other exchanges, and it has not been mentioned anywhere by the Winklevii themselves. Further, the mention of Zuckerbucks, a coin which we know never to have existed, is very telling (and funny?)

Funny or Die, Because Economics

A good or bad joke by Erik Vorhees and ShapeShift.io? Let’s just hope they intend to refund the buyers in full when they wake up from their hangovers tomorrow to realize they’ve purchased something worth even less than Paycoin.

Last modified (UTC): March 17, 2017 08:57

P. H. Madore @bitillionaire

P. H. Madore has written for CCN since 2014. Please send breaking news tips or requests for investigation to bitillionaire+phm@gmail.com. He lives in Maine, USA. A single father of four young children, he does not discourage financial donations, provided they do not come with strings attached.