Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Is Part of an Evil Plan to Conquer Your Console

• Call of Duty: Modern Warfare requires yet another update.
• These updates are a ploy to take over the gaming community and your console.
• It’s too late; the game is already winning.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare released another update, patching a few things, like the .357 Snake Shot damage and range, while also accomplishing its far more nefarious task: Taking over your entire console until you delete all other games.

In a matter of months, Express reports that Warzone has exceeded 60 million players , but that isn’t enough for Modern Warfare. Headed into the May 7th update, the game took up roughly 180 GB on PC and over 185 on PS4 and Xbox One, but still, the game needed more of your attention.

Following years of mediocre games after the franchise tried in vain to follow up Call of Duty: Black Ops, the company landed on a stunning solution to arrive back on top of the gaming world.

Modern Warfare’s Evil Three-Step Plan

After some of the trash pumped out under the Call of Duty label, the brand needed a big bounce back. Using a three-step plan, it’s trying to not only vault over the competition but literally eliminate it.

Step One: Scavenge the bones of the former champions. Blatantly rip maps from the original Modern Warfare, and while there, snag guns and killstreaks too. 

Step Two: Copy Fortnite’s blueprint. People wanted bigger game modes, so give them massive versions of that, sprinkling that Call of Duty feel on something everyone loves.

Step Three (and this is the big one): Spam updates, taking up more and more space, deleting all other games, and leaving just one: Modern Warfare. People will keep downloading the updates because if they don’t, they can’t get online. And no one will delete Modern Warfare because it would take three days just to redownload everything.

A simple three-step plan is all it takes to accomplish gaming supremacy.

The Pandemic Is The Perfect Cover

One must assume this was the plan from the very beginning (no evil genius stumbles into such a ploy). Still, the coronavirus outbreak gave Modern Warfare the perfect cover to accelerate its time table.

A vast majority of people are stuck at home, giving creators of the game every excuse to launch patches and fixes for the highly trafficked game. It seems innocent; everyone is stuck at home on this game, so it must need constant updates.

Don’t be so blind, friends. This game is taking each of our gaming consoles hostage with incessant downloads.

But we have all endured months of this, and by this point have no doubt deleted most of the games stashed on our hard drives anyways so… Battle Royal in five?