Call of Duty: Modern Warfare Is Part of an Evil Plan to Conquer Your Console

May 8, 2020 9:19 PM UTC
The Call of Duty: Modern Warfare game is getting yet another update, another step in its plan for dominance over your console.
  • Call of Duty: Modern Warfare requires yet another update.
  • These updates are a ploy to take over the gaming community and your console.
  • It’s too late; the game is already winning.

Call of Duty: Modern Warfare released another update, patching a few things, like the .357 Snake Shot damage and range, while also accomplishing its far more nefarious task: Taking over your entire console until you delete all other games.

Source: Twitter

In a matter of months, Express reports that Warzone has exceeded 60 million players, but that isn’t enough for Modern Warfare. Headed into the May 7th update, the game took up roughly 180 GB on PC and over 185 on PS4 and Xbox One, but still, the game needed more of your attention.

Following years of mediocre games after the franchise tried in vain to follow up Call of Duty: Black Ops, the company landed on a stunning solution to arrive back on top of the gaming world.

Modern Warfare’s Evil Three-Step Plan

After some of the trash pumped out under the Call of Duty label, the brand needed a big bounce back. Using a three-step plan, it’s trying to not only vault over the competition but literally eliminate it.

Source: Activision/Infinity Ward

Step One: Scavenge the bones of the former champions. Blatantly rip maps from the original Modern Warfare, and while there, snag guns and killstreaks too. 

Step Two: Copy Fortnite’s blueprint. People wanted bigger game modes, so give them massive versions of that, sprinkling that Call of Duty feel on something everyone loves.

Step Three (and this is the big one): Spam updates, taking up more and more space, deleting all other games, and leaving just one: Modern Warfare. People will keep downloading the updates because if they don’t, they can’t get online. And no one will delete Modern Warfare because it would take three days just to redownload everything.

A simple three-step plan is all it takes to accomplish gaming supremacy.

Source: Call of Duty/Facebook. Image Edited by CCN.com.

The Pandemic Is The Perfect Cover

One must assume this was the plan from the very beginning (no evil genius stumbles into such a ploy). Still, the coronavirus outbreak gave Modern Warfare the perfect cover to accelerate its time table.

A vast majority of people are stuck at home, giving creators of the game every excuse to launch patches and fixes for the highly trafficked game. It seems innocent; everyone is stuck at home on this game, so it must need constant updates.

Source: Call of Duty: Modern Warfare/Infinity Ward/Activision

Don’t be so blind, friends. This game is taking each of our gaming consoles hostage with incessant downloads.

But we have all endured months of this, and by this point have no doubt deleted most of the games stashed on our hard drives anyways so… Battle Royal in five?

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.

Aaron Weaver edited this article for CCN.com. If you see a breach of our Code of Ethics or find a factual, spelling, or grammar error, please contact us.

Last modified: May 10, 2020 11:19 AM UTC

Show comments
@CMolesky

Colton is a contributor at CCN, graduated from Minnesota State University with honors in Mass Media studies with an emphasis in journalism. He is currently an on-air reporter for an ABC-NBC affiliate in the Midwest. Check out some of his work on his YouTube channel and more of his experience here and follow him on Twitter. Reach him at Colton.Molesky81[at]gmail.com.