Ja Rule has challenged his longtime arch-enemy 50 Cent to a head-to-head rap battle on Instagram Live . I don’t know what’s worse, the cringe-worthy challenge itself or thinking about how dull the event would be. After all, these aren’t rappers in their prime like Drake or even Tupac, and he’s been dead for 23 years.
The feud between Ja Rule and 50 Cent goes back to 1999 when a thug robbed Rule for one of his excessive gold chains. Later that same day, he hopped into the club (as rappers are wont to do) and allegedly saw Fiddy looking friendly with the very same man that did it. While that’s a damn good reason to be pissed at somebody, we became the real victims.
Over the last two decades, this stupid war of words had continued to pound our eardrums in an assault worse than Ja’s music itself. The question is, why does Ja think anyone is interested in seeing it play out for the millionth time?
In an Instagram Live, Timbaland got Ja Rule on the phone to talk about a potential Versuz match between the two has-been stars. The Always on Time hitmaker was bounding about on the other end of the line like a bandana-wearing puppy. Let’s hope he didn’t pee on the rug. Far from being cute, it was desperate, as he squealed:
It would break the internet in a bad way!
I hate to disagree, Ja, but do you see us flocking to the nursing home to watch one grandpa hit another with a walking stick? Do you see us standing in the lounge drooling over who gets the last jello pot at snack hour? We don’t, and we won’t. No one wants that smell in their nostrils.
Make no mistake, this proposed challenge is 20 years too late. Any craps we had left the building in 2004, catching the same ride out of here as your music career.
As for Fifty, he seems to be laughing at the absurdity as much as we are, tweeting a gif with the caption:
Who want to battle, and here’s a moment of silence for the still sick and suffering. LOL. (sic.)
Please, send us your healing prayers. If this comes to fruition, we’ll all be left choking on listless rhymes from a 44-year-old man that doesn’t know when to put down the mic.