Golden toilets don’t come around very often, so when they go missing, people talk about it. Italian artist Maurizio Cattelan built the toilet he calls “America.” In true American fashion, somebody stole it. If that wasn’t American enough, it’s now trending on Twitter.
WATCH THE THRONE: Thieves in England pulled off an 18K robbery, stealing a golden toilet from the birthplace of Winston Churchill pic.twitter.com/h0GeLLHMpu
— Bloomberg Quicktake (@Quicktake) September 14, 2019
The toilet lived in Blenheim Palace, the birthplace of Winston Churchhill. Attendees could book three minutes of private time with the 18-karat gold commode. That time is valuable as the toilet is reportedly worth around $4 million. Early this morning, burglars ripped the toilet from the wall, causing “significant flooding.” While it’s difficult to find compassion for anyone who loses a golden toilet, it’s pretty easy to appreciate the humor.
Twitter was in rare form this Saturday. Users from around the world were trying to break the internet with their hot takes on the lavish potty. Some of them were hilarious. Tweeter @carlinspace made cnn.com look silly with his interpretation of their headline.
Burying the lede that Winston Churchill was born in a golden toilet https://t.co/CaDrBSeFVP
— Carl Garcia (@carlinspace) September 14, 2019
People loved their “nothing to go on” jokes:
— E O Higgins (@eohiggins) September 14, 2019
The Police have nothing to go on
— MMM 007™ (@Meloney007) September 14, 2019
But not quite as much as they loved their “flush” puns:
So a golden toilet has been stolen….. think the police are trying to flush out the suspect pic.twitter.com/ocknY5Ie7z
— Edward j. nigma (@EdNigma558) September 14, 2019
Shit happens, but I'm sure the police will flush them out
— KEV ⚒ (@kev1931) September 14, 2019
“WRITE IT! THE THIEF OF THE GOLDEN TOILET HAS BEEN FLUSHED OUT!” pic.twitter.com/CvnGBXOm9B
— SirBrianCannonHunter (@TheCannonHunter) September 14, 2019
One suspect kept coming up:
— Greg Campbell (@GregCampbell15) September 14, 2019
Check the White House
— Cory Papineau (@Iam_Canadian) September 14, 2019
And his son:
Someone needs to tell Eric that this will not make daddy love him. https://t.co/38Dk8BJ0an
— Molly Jong-Fast🏡 (@MollyJongFast) September 14, 2019
British author Neil Gaman tried to remove himself from the suspect list:
For the record I would like to make it clear that I had nothing to do with the theft of the Golden Toilet from Blenheim Palace. My presence here is purely coincidental. I did not take it nor do I currently know… https://t.co/egBOaypMPm
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) September 14, 2019
Whoever smelt it dealt it, Neil.
Suspect in Custody
While the golden toilet is still missing, police have one suspect in custody. Detectives arrested and questioned a 66-year-old man believed to be part of the two-vehicle operation. Cattelan told the New York Times,
“I want to be positive and think the robbery is a kind of Robin Hood-inspired action.”
If nothing else, perhaps this can settle the debate on whether bitcoin is a better store of value than gold. Nobody has ever stolen a toilet made out of digital currency.