Pokemon has some adorable characters. Eevee is one of the cutest, which is why it's sad that Funko's new figurine sucks Eevee's life away.
Pokemon collectibles hold a special place in the hearts of many Pokemon fans, even if the new games have been annoying people lately. It’s easy to see why – the cute little critters make for some adorable figurines.
The least adorable possible collectibles are made by Funko, who has turned recycling the same terrible design into an art form. Their latest abomination is based on Eevee, and it’s one of the ugliest Pokemon adaptations that I’ve ever seen.
Somehow they’ve managed to take the cute little ball of fur and adorableness and turn it into a dead-eyed, soulless husk. Eevee is one of the Pokemon with the most delightful appearances, and now it’s completely gross.
Dead, soulless eyes are just the first problem. The new Funko figure has the same other glaring flaws as its predecessors.
Each one of their figurines also uses the exact same form factor: an oversized, squared head and a tiny body that makes the figurines prone to toppling over. Then add basic blocks of color with no light or shading, and you’ve got a grotesque caricature of what a Pokemon is supposed to be.
The only Funko Pop figures that look halfway decent are the ones that are forced to move away from this typical design. Spyro, for instance, looks okay. He still looks like someone has stuffed a corpse, but at least it’s different from the regular stuffed corpses Funko sells.
Just look at Eevee’s original design. It has brown eyes with life and shine to them, and you can really see the fluffiness of the tail and collar. Its face also actually has an expression. Look at the new figurine and all you get is Coraline levels of dead-eyed staring. Seriously, don’t stare into the eyes. You won’t like what stares back.
This isn’t the first time that Funko has surgically removed the charm from a Pokemon. To date, Pikachu and the original starters have all had their souls sucked out.
Worse than that, it seems like Pickachu has had it happen numerous times. Again, Bulbasaur doesn’t look too bad, mainly because he doesn’t have a ridiculously tiny body.
If you really want to have a figurine of Eevee, you should probably look elsewhere. There are loads of adorable figurines of the character out there, and they won’t drain the life straight out of you when you look at them.
Let’s just hope that Funko sticks to ruining less endearing franchises in the future. Although considering their likely profit margins, I don’t see that happening.
This article was edited by Josiah Wilmoth.
Last modified: January 11, 2020 2:31 PM UTC