At some point over the last week, “Storm Area 51, They Can’t Stop All of Us” transformed from a viral prank into a national phenomenon.
The Facebook event, which encourages Area 51 truthers to meet up in Nevada on September 20 and storm the highly classified US Air Force base now has more than 1 million registered attendees. It must be the event description that stirred their spirits:
“We will all meet up at the Area 51 Alien Center tourist attraction and coordinate our entry. If we naruto run, we can move faster than their bullets. Lets see them aliens.”
More than 915,000 other Facebook users responded that they are “interested,” as though they’d like to attend but aren’t quite sure getting carpet-bombed in Nevada fits into their calendar.
And the US Air Force has promised as much, if not in so many words. A spokesperson told the Washington Post that the “Air Force always stands ready to protect America and its assets” and would “discourage anyone from trying to come into the area where we train American armed forces.”
To be sure, virtually no one – aside from the Air Force, apparently – considers this anything more than an internet meme.
Still, odds are that someone could show up to “Storm Area 51” anyway and promptly proceed to ruin their life, right? How long would it take Florida Man to hitchhike to Nevada?
But this is where the “Storm Area 51” saga grows even more bizarre. Because John McAfee emerged as the voice of reason.
The septuagenarian founder of McAfee Antivirus took time out of running for president while on the lam in Cuba, promising to “eat [his] d**k” if the bitcoin price fails to reach $1 million by 2020, and posting his Social Security Number on Twitter to deliver a stark and vulgar warning any Area 51 truthers reckless enough to make the trip to Groom Lake.
“You’ve been watching too many f**king movies. ‘They can’t stop us all because there will be outrage.’ That’s what you say. There’s not going to be any f**king outrage. There’s going to be shock and disbelief that there are that many stupid people in the world, but no outrage.”
“A million lemmings throw themselves off of a cliff, do we blame the cliff? No, we blame the lemmings. You choose to drink the Kool-Aid, it ain’t the Kool-Aid’s fault.”
That’s right: 1 million Americans have signed up to raid Area 51 for alien carcasses, and John McAfee is the adult in the room.
McAfee’s subsequent tweets reveal that his opposition to the “Storm Area 51” scheme isn’t that he’s worried that conspiracy theorists will do something stupid to try to prove that aliens exist.
It’s that he thinks Area 51 truthers are looking in the wrong place. Aliens, he says, aren’t hidden on an Air Force base in Nevada. They’re running the country from Capitol Hill.
Disclaimer: The views expressed in the article are solely those of the author and do not represent those of, nor should they be attributed to, CCN.