R. Kelly’s Desperate Schemes to Escape Jail Keep Getting Stupider

• R. Kelly has jumped on the bandwagon of celebrities desperately trying to get out of jail.
• The disgraced “Ignition” hitmaker is currently in jail on a slew of charges, including child sexual exploitation.
• He wants out as he fears he’s at risk of catching the coronavirus.

R. Kelly is the latest in a long line of celebrity scumbags hoping to exploit a global pandemic to get out of jail .

The disgraced R&B star has been behind bars since last year after his deplorable crimes finally caught up with him. After the release of the shocking documentary Surviving R. Kelly , the authorities were faced with mounting pressure to take Kelly out of the limelight and into a cell.

He is facing well over a dozen charges, from child pornography offenses to racketeering and obstruction of justice. Despite having a rap sheet longer than his list of hit records, R. Kelly thinks he should be out here with the rest of us.

Recently, Kelly begged and pleaded with a judge to release him under house arrest so he could avoid catching Covid-19. At the time, there were no cases in the Chicago jail where the singer is locked up. Rightly so, the judge denied his motion and sent him back to his bunk with the rest of the felons.

Kelly has had some time to scheme and plot with his lawyers, and he’s back with another excuse. It’s as egotistical and disgusting as you might imagine.

R. Kelly Won’t Run Away Because He’s Just Too Famous

One of the main reasons that Kelly’s request was denied in the first place was because he couldn’t prove he wouldn’t run away. After all, why wouldn’t a man on the verge of life imprisonment succumb to cowardice and flee?

If he’s the sort to commit the crimes that he’s in for in the first place, then running away certainly isn’t beneath him. This is a man that asked the media to “take it easy” on him in April of last year so he could chill in the club .

Now there are six confirmed cases in the jail among prisoners and a further seven among staff. Kelly and his lawyers haven’t wasted any time. They’re back at the bench, and they’ve got the perfect reason why Kelly won’t run away.

According to reports, Kelly’s team said he would be:

The most obvious and recognizable person on the streets of Chicago, or anywhere else in the country, in light of the severe stay-at-home restrictions.

What’s more, the star says he’s desperately terrified of flying and doesn’t have a passport or a plane to fly. In other words, he doesn’t believe he can fly  after all. (Sorry, I couldn’t help it.)

The judge hasn’t decided whether to set this sex-crazed lunatic back on the streets of Chicago. But since Harvey Weinstein and Bill Cosby have both failed in their attempts to use Covid-19 as an excuse to go home, then there’s not much hope for Kelly.