Lil Uzi Vert is losing his marbles.
Actually, he may never lose his marbles again now that they’re fused into his forehead.
The “Eternal Atake” rapper just spent a boatload of cash on a diamond that’s apparently been surgically inserted into his forehead. That is not a typo.
Make no mistake; the man is allowed to do whatever he wants with his money. But we’re allowed to make fun of him.
Lil Uzi Vert — real name Symere Bysil Woods — is making his best attempt at fully becoming a diamond. He just announced that after four years, he’s finished paying off his $24 million natural pink diamond.
The rock comes from his favorite jeweler Elliot Eliantte, who should fully be ashamed of himself.
How are you going to take advantage of poor Lil Uzi like this, Elliot? Don’t you know he’s a mainstream rapper with cash to burn and an addiction to bling?
At least Lil Uzi Vert seems to have some kind of sense of humor about this :
If I lose the ring yeah U will make fun of me more than putting it in my forehead ha ha jokes on you ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… And yes I do have insurance.
So, he’s putting the diamond into his forehead, so he doesn’t lose it. Maybe he should’ve just put the $24 million into his forehead because he absolutely just lost that.
Look, I’m as sick of billionaires as the next person. Although I do think some, like Jeff Bezos, are doing more good in the world than people give them credit for. Nonetheless, we should never have a trillionaire.
But why do people get mad at the idea of the ultra-wealthy? Because they have too much power? That’s part of it, but one of the most common retorts is that if people like Jeff Bezos or Elon Musk used their money for good, they could change the world.
If they just spread the wealth, they could give all of us thousands of dollars!
Obviously, these men are financially on a different level than Lil Uzi Vert, but why aren’t people up in arms about his new face prop?
I mean, does it even look good?
Surely, he could’ve spent $24 million on a higher cause. Maybe he could’ve fed millions of hungry people. Maybe he could’ve bought a poor kid a private jet.
I believe that he, and the rest, should be able to do whatever they want with their money, but shouldn’t the critics out there be questioning Lil Uzi like they do others?
At least we have Twitter, the great equalizer.
Thankfully, people are not just letting Lil Uzi get a $24 million face implant without making fun of him. The Twitter brigade was out in full force on Wednesday, armed with jokes, memes, and general disbelief.
One Twitter user hilariously compared himself to Marvel’s Thanos:
Another compared Lil Uzi Vert to a cheap Photoshop job:
And of course, people keep the Vision memes going strong:
Hopefully, people don’t try to capture this $24 million prize next time they see Lil Uzi Vert in person. And let’s hope that diamond isn’t as loose as the screws in his head might be.