While unemployment rates skyrocket and many people wonder how they’ll pay rent, Drake decided it was a great time to flaunt his wealth. The Canadian rapper showed the Architectural Digest his Toronto mansion, and much like his music, it’s entirely unexceptional.
Simply put: If auto-tune were a building, it would be Drake’s house.
Drake showcased some of the pictures from the article on his Instagram page, and it’s not clear what ‘look’ he’s going for. At certain points, it captures an ‘ultimate man cave’ vibe. At other points, it gives off a ’21st-century billionaire in the city’ vibe. But all too often, it feels like Drake went to the most basic mall in all of the suburbs and said: “This is me.”
Just look at his staircase. Does that not look like the inside of a Macy’s?
Just like his music, Drake knows a thing or two about doing the same thing over and over again. Check out his foyer; it looks like he bought it at the fanciest Target in all of the land.
Of course, no mall would be complete without a Foot Locker:
His kitchen looks like it was imported straight from a catalog.
Of course, just like his music, the Champagne Papi occasionally has some style and originality. I don’t know what this room is, but it looks like a fun place to sit.
The crown jewel of Drake’s home is this amber paradise. It’s one of the few places in his house that doesn’t feel ripped from somewhere else. Maybe he had one of his creative friends, like The Weeknd or Kendrick Lamar, design it.
You probably aren’t wondering why Drake’s mansion looks utterly devoid of creativity. If you listen to a few of his records, that should become abundantly clear. He sounds exactly the same on 90% of his songs. His voice isn’t fit for public consumption until it’s been drenched in auto-tune and polished by an army of sound engineers. He doesn’t even write his own lyrics.
But let’s forget about his lack of artistry for a moment. Why does Drake want to live in a shopping mall? Well, perhaps because that’s where he goes to pick up his lovers.
Drake has a troubling history of courting girls who aren’t old enough to vote. The “Young Papi’ is out here trying to pick up ‘young mamis.’ It makes sense that he would try to make them feel more comfortable by designing his house for them.
Drake told the Architectural Digest:
I wanted the structure to stand firm for 100 years.
We just want your girlfriends to stand firm for 18 years before you court them.
It will be one of the things I leave behind, so it had to be timeless and strong.
This house is neither timeless nor strong, which makes it the perfect addition to Drake’s legacy.
Disclaimer: The opinions expressed in this article do not necessarily reflect the views of CCN.com.
This article was edited by Josiah Wilmoth.