Fast & Furious Crossroads is the first truly terrible looking game we've had in a while, and I for one cannot wait for it to get here.
It’s always cathartic when a game looks like trash. Ride to Hell: Retribution was a big one for that back in 2013. For a few months, everyone was talking about how bad it was. Terrible graphics, terrible animations, and terrible gameplay. The trio of awful. Looks like Fast & Furious Crossroads might be next on the chopping block.
Fast & Furious Crossroads is a game from Bandai Namco which was announced at The Game Awards. Slightly Mad Studios, the team behind realistic driving game Project CARS, is the company responsible for development. The interesting thing about it is that the game looks like it was made around the time the first F&F movie came out back in 2001.
The ‘looks like it’s 2001’ thing is probably a bit of an exaggeration. Instead, it actually looks like a game from about 2007. Animations make the characters look like they’re made of cardboard. Stiff isn’t even a strong enough word to describe it. The facial animations look like someone who’s never spoken to another human being but has seen a picture of one designed them.
They would have literally been better off using construction paper like South Park. This entire mess is amazingly gross to look at. It’s also completely baffling since the studio apparently responsible for this monstrosity has made games with realistic graphics in the past. Maybe the artists over there just struggle with humans. You know, like an artist who “can’t do fingers.”
Fast & Furious Crossroads is going to suck. And I really cannot wait for it to be released. Even if it has decent gameplay, it’s going to be great sitting through those damn cutscenes! And you thought Vin Diesel’s Facebook livestreams were bad!
It seems like the internet agrees with me. Twitter and Reddit have been whipping the stuffing out of the game. People are comparing the game to stuff that was out on the PS2 or PS3, and others are accusing it of stealing models from the 2001 cinematic classic Shrek. It’s all hilarious.
It really isn’t clear what has been going on over at Slightly Mad Studios. There is either a gas leak at their offices or the high political tension in the air has driven the entire team insane. No matter what happens, it looks like Fast & Furious Crossroads is going to be the train wreck of 2020. I look forward to some semi-decent YouTube ‘try not to laugh’ videos in the new year.
This article was edited by Gerelyn Terzo.
Last modified: January 22, 2020 11:41 PM UTC