BTS are the worst band in the world. Sure, there have been an insane number of terrible musical acts over the years, from Vanilla Ice and Billy Ray Cyrus to Nickelback and Creed. However, BTS are the undisputed worst pop group in the world, ever. And their performance last night on The Late Late Show with James Corden proved it.
The Korean pop ‘band’ took to the Late Late Show’s stage to perform their latest ‘song,’ the characteristically titled “Black Swan.” Of course, we use the word ‘perform’ lightly, along with ‘band’ and ‘song.’ Not only was their ridiculous choreography devoid of any real content, but their fans’ comments online also exposed just how worthless they are as alleged creators of music.
Music is music. Except, that is, when it’s choreography. Because if BTS’ performance of “Black Swan” revealed anything, it’s that the group’s ‘music’ takes a complete backseat to visuals.
The above tweet is typical of 99% of fan reactions to BTS and their anti-music rituals. Incredibly, the vast majority fans focus primarily on the choreography of the group’s dancing, not on, you know, the actual music. And as the most popular reactions on YouTube to the video of the Corden performance show, their fans put music at the very bottom of their list of priorities. Much more important is the “lighting,” the “stage setup,” and the fact that “Jungkook pointed his toes!!!!”
The Late Late Show itself referred to BTS and their non-music as “groundbreaking.” I’m not sure which band they’re listening to when making this judgment. (Maybe they were watching old videos of Captain Beefheart, Ornette Coleman or Kraftwerk?) But then again, the show’s producers probably mean ‘groundbreaking’ in a different sense. They must be referring to how BTS have broken ground by showing that it’s possible to profit wildly from a musical product that’s in fact devoid of all musical content and originality.
That’s why BTS is a television or record exec’s wet dream. Television networks and major record labels love products that are all packaging and presentation, with no actual substance. They’re much easier to produce since genuine art that evolves the medium in which it works is very difficult to create, particularly for suits who know nothing about music.
And really, where is the music in BTS’ pretty boy schtick? “Black Swan,” for those masochistic enough to listen, is basically a profoundly sanitized version of trap music. Throw in some signifiers of Korean ‘exoticness’ for the intro, add those rapid-fire hi-hats, and sprinkle with knock-off rapping.
Of course, the group’s fans are much-too focused on the choreography, clothing and lighting, so they don’t realize they’re exposing themselves to the musical equivalent of reconstituted meat.
And speaking of BTS’ fans, they’re also among the worst in the history of the world. With album titles like “Love Yourself: Answer” and “Map of the Soul: Persona,” the group’s ‘music’ clearly panders to sappy, self-indulgent egocentricity. Lyrically, their songs encourage fans to continue seeing themselves as the centre(s) of the universe. This is despite the probable fact that it’s consumeristic individualism that will be causing any problems their fans might have. So rather than helping them escape their isolating self-centredness, BTS encourage further narcissism.
In other words, BTS are the personification of everything that’s wrong with the millennial and Z generations. And they’re also the personification of everything that’s wrong with pop music.