This season of “90 Day Fiancé” is proving to be one of the messiest yet.
At the center of one of the most drama-packed storylines of the season is Usman Umar, better known by his stage name “Sojaboy.”
Umar is seen trying to get his relationship with Lisa Hamme in order. But it seems like he’s only with “Baby Gal Lisa” (as he calls her) for the green card.
It’s obvious to everyone, except Baby Gal Lisa herself, of course.
Fans of the show compare the couple to perennial favorites Angela (Deem) and Michael (Ilesanmi). But Usman and Michael are nothing alike. And in being who he is, Umar is bucking 90 Day Fiance stereotypes.
Though typically used to denote Asian-Americans, 90 Day Fiance perpetuates the Model Minority myth across all cultures. In the world of the hit TLC reality show, the non-American partner is supposed to be obedient and tolerate all sorts of nonsense if s/he hopes to get the coveted “green card” (the Permanent Resident card issued by the USCIS ).
Any pushback or otherwise resistance to this mistreatment is depicted as an insult to all the things that make America great.
Such was the case with Michael and Angela. Michael, known derisively as “Mykoo,” put up with untold amounts of abuse from her.
In their season of “90 Day Fiance,” Angela would frequently berate him, accuse him of sleeping with other women, and even threw a cake in his face.
The audience laughed. And by laughing at him, they failed to acknowledge that what Michael was experiencing was relationship abuse, plain and simple.
Would those same people be laughing if the situation was reversed — if Michael berated Angela regularly and threw a cake in her face? Probably not.
But “Mykoo” became a fan favorite because he put up with the worst type of behavior.
That’s not the case with Usman.
Like his “90 Day Fiancé” co-star Rose Vega, Umar is bucking the stereotype of the “Model Minority.”
When Lisa snapped at him in a recent episode, he immediately fired back and told her off. In so doing, he reminded her that her happiness is not —- and should not be -— dependent on him.
And this is not the first time that Usman has put Lisa in her place.
It’s true that Lisa has been cheated on in past relationships . That’s terrible, and certainly explains why she has trust issues in her current relationship with Usman.
However, Lisa’s insecurity is a her problem, not a him problem.
By refusing to play to 90 Day Fiancé stereotypes, Umar is taking control of his narrative. Good for him for doing so.